Feb 092012
 

The animal that you are trying to catch is always the last one to come inside. And the next time, when you are after a different individual, the first one will come in right away.

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Whenever you fill a hay rack outdoors the wind is always blowing from the other side.

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Whenever a hose bursts it will always spray in your direction and never towards the wall or floor. If you are not around it will soak the animal’s feed, your locker, an electrical fixture, or other vulnerable area.

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Whenever you’ve been working extra hard and sit down to take a long overdue rest, your supervisor or curator (who hasn’t been in your building in weeks) will immediately walk in the door. The same is true any time you try to take a short cut or bend a rule a little bit. And it is especially true any time you start talking about them.

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More animals will injure themselves or go into labor, etc., just as you’re getting ready to go to lunch or home for the day than at any other time. And most serious complications will arise when the vet is out of town for a conference.

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A large animal that has been sick for a long time will wait for a blisteringly hot summer day and then select the farthest corner of the yard in which to expire. This is particularly true if there is a record, holiday crowd watching.

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Whenever you attempt to catch a crippled or pinioned bird it will suddenly learn to fly. This is also particularly true if a huge crowd is watching.

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Stalls and cages that need to be hosed will always have drains located at the highest point of the floor.

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No matter how smooth the floor is the hose will always find a place to get caught. If it absolutely cannot catch on anything it will kink.

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When you’re checking the animals in a large exhibit and are ready to concede that one individual has, in fact, disappeared, you will find it just around the next corner, sitting (never standing) in plain sight as if it had been there the whole time.

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The embarrassment factor of any stupid mistake you may make is directly proportional to the number of visitors watching.